FTHBA.

Fun Time Had By All. (FTHBA) Use it, spread the word-- my mom will love it. I've had a pretty eventful 10 days.
Let's start over, let's journey back to last Monday when it was Roommate 2's birthday. It was the big two-five for her so she wasn't in such a celebratory mood. I made her a card with a rainbow and cupcakes on it and taped on some Snickers that I found in my room and that seemed to do the trick. She got stoned and went to bed. Maybe a pizza was ordered or something, not so sure.

Fastforward to Thursday and it was Roommate 1's 21st birthday. 21st birthdays, (for those of you who have forgotten) are the most important and sloppy of all birthdays. So we take little Flavalicious out promptly at midnight and throw shots at her and around 1:30 someone came to find me and told me she was calling all dinosaurs (puking) in the bathroom, so I walked her out and took her home. On the way home the sweet little nugget sprayed my car with her rejected shots all the way down my car. Perfect. That's what my car needed.

Side note: My car is a piece. It was not purchased as a piece but over the years of treating it like an Army tank and just random unfortunate events happening to it, it just doesnt look pretty. 1. I have backed into someone (who told me she was pregnant afterwards, of course. They're always pregnant somehow) so the back of it is a little crumpled and the same said event put a hole in my tail light, so I patched it up personally. 2. The headlights are foggy. It looks like a took it on an underwater adventure through the deep mossy wetlands. 3. The back window stopped working a while ago because the motor went out, so it is beautifully fashioned with duct tape, packing tape, and scotch tape. 4. I had to get new tires about a semester ago, and the tire place called my mom and told them that one of my wheels was cracked and needed to be replaced immediately or one day I could be left as a tripod on the side of 35. And being the wonderful Momma she is, she told them to go ahead and replace it. They told her that they wouldn't have a silver one (to match) until the following week. So she just let them put on anything they had right then and upon picking up my car I saw that I now was the proud owner of a black, hotwheel-ish, chromed out wheel. Notice I said WHEEL? Just one. That means on the duct tape, pregnant smasher, fog machine, I HAVE 3 silver stock wheels and one pimped out black wheel.

So, to add to all of that beauty- I now had Roomies stomach parts on it. CAH-YOOT.

-Anyway, poor baby ends up getting alcohol poisoning, and has an anxiety attack so we had to spend the next EIGHT hours in the ER. Which I totally didn't mind being there for, I wouldn't have prefered to pick up a dead body in the morning, but still. I had to listen to so many crazy things in the ER. Around 5 or 6 in the morning there was a woman in the room across from the one we were in and I became scared for her life. She was moaning like a cow in labor. "Nuuuuurrrrsseee.... NUUUURRSSEEE...." (Pause for 2 minutes) "OOOHOHHH, NUUUUURRRSEEE... the PAAAAAAIIIIINN."

I don't know if she knew that she had a call button attached to her bed, or if the nurses just quit answering her because she was so ridiculous. She may have been losing a leg, or having a baby, I'm not sure, but the noises coming from her room could have meant either one.

You can learn a lot in an emergency room.