It's my party and I'll butt dial if I want to.

SO- After the cupcake and rainbow card, and our free night stay at the ER it was my time to shine.

After my nap on Friday, I decided to head home to the Mothership for a little R&R with her and to get my laundry done for me to spend a little QT. My plan was to lay on the couch like the fat slug I felt like but the gods had a different plan for me. I got ahold of my friend FarleyBoyd and she wanted to take me out for my birthday.

I put on my fanciest attire and my boots and headed out. Some little hookerbot from my old highschool was there and meanmugged me the whole time so I just whipped my weave back and forth and flirted with everyone in the bar until she disappeard--- or I got cross-eyed-gonna hurl-forgot my tights were sagging-drunk. THANK GOD some little grungy muppet that FarelyBoyd brought along drove me and my crapwagon home. I hopped out the jag silver tripod and really wasn't prepared for what was going to happen. As soon as FarleyBoyd and the muppet were out of sight I blew chunks all over my moms front yard.

Oh, sorry Mom. I forgot to tell you that. My bad playa. Anyway, spent a great weekend with my mamallama and got a phone call from my Papasito and he asked if I could make it home by noon on Sunday because he wanted to take me shopping for the day of my birth.

CHA-CHING.

Promptly Sunday morning I gave some lovin' to my momma and headed home. I made it just in time to find my dad and stepmotha outside and had to excuse myself to run upstairs to make sure there weren't any dead bodies upstairs. I came in my apt to find that Willy Wonka had recently visited and maybe a frat or two. IT WAS SO GROSS, and my dad doesn't take kindly to dirty but I had no time to clean. Not even enough time to throw everything in my closet. Nothing.

Blah blah blah, sorry this entry has no humor, yours truly is a little under the weather.

ANYWAY- as we were heading to the mall we were pulling out of my complex and I was building a mental list of what loot I was going to get when stepmom said "Oh, what did that car say? Just married?"

They reversed the car and I turn to see a blue mustang with "TO: DOOZER" and "BAM!" written on it, and I don't know why it didn't register to me. I honestly thought someone else had the nickname Doozer in my complex and right as I was about to sayyyy that I looked over to see Stepmom holding a camera in my face to capture this unbelieveable moment.


NO. FREAKING. WAY. I literally stopped breathing. My other half of the Quad-parents purchased me an '08 Blue beautiful Mustang. And she's all mine baby. NO MORE CREEPIN' IN THE JEEP!

So let me take this moment to send a shout out to King Daddy Rabbit and Victoria Beckham. Thanks y'all.

If someone doesn't fall in love with me in this new slab (slow loud and bangin') then I'll die alone.


Last night my little hoodrats took me out for my birthday and I again OD'ed on Rumple and Jack In The Box and found myself on the balcony with my roommate and other folks wearing no pants.

(If you know me at all, you know sans-pants is a frequent thing with me. IDK why, man.)

Anyway, somehow in this pantsless parade I ended up butt dialing (Can you butt dial with no pockets?) KDR at 2:30 in the morning. Embarrassing. It's never cool or classy to accidentally call your dad at that time or in that state of mind. Sorry dood.