Where I am lately.

This blog will mean nothing to you if you can't access your speakers.

I have recorded a few things that have happened lately that I'd like to share, and you can't fully enjoy if you can't hear them, DOY. (Rhyming.) Some good, some bad, some ugly, some funny. Just life.

 

 

 

 

 

(One of) my best friends, Jackie is a RA, (resident assistant) meaning she lives in a dorm with all the bright eyed freshman and makes sure these hoodrats stay in line.

This is her 4th year of torturing herself with this job, but she says its worth it because she gets free housing but.. somethings just don't fly with her.

 

I was trying to leave after our traditional Teen Mom night and when we got to the elevator some kids were playing on the elevator and making the bell go off. Naturally they were gone when the elevator reached our floor. Last week when I was there, she had to stop about 6 students in the halls because they were LITERALLY sprinting up and down the halls of a dorm hall sounding like a bunch of water buffalo.

 

I think its funny. She hates it, but I'd rather pluck than do this.. i think. Don't quote me.

 

Also, Happy Birthday Squirrelfriend. I love you!

It also started POURING here in San Marcos about 20 minutes ago and is supposed to rain all night so I text her and said thank you for bringing the rain down from the heavens, she said youre welcome, and I said oh, but I just got a text from someone and sent her.. "Makin it rain on dem hoes" -Jesus.

 

So, Thank you 6 pound 8 oz baby Jesus, we needed this rain.

 

In other super important news--

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BOBBA!* LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!

 

*Bobba= Momma. Try saying MOMMA with a stuffed up nose.. comes out bobba.. which she now answers to.

 

This weekend I went to Sugar Land to celebrate my sweet little pumpkin seed's birthday. We had such a blast together.

 

We went to see dinosaurs.

 

 

We saw crystals.

 

We sang songs. :) He's got some talent.

 

 

 

And did some swimming.

 

Can you tell how much I love this boy?

 

On Friday night we all went to dinner for Mr. Five's birthday and he got SO many toys. He was so excited.

 

We went home, got baby kid in bed, OB was on the couch asleep and around 1:00am I secretly let someone in...

 

 

My mom first woke up and saw BB, the chihuahua, and assumed it was Jackie's dog. (I lied to her and said Jackie was coming by so she wouldnt set the alarm.. then she lifted her sleepy head again and saw MONKEY!

 

All the way from Dallas, her granddogs came to surprise her. :)

She kept saying, "But whyy are they heeeree? What are they doing here?"

 

Sleepy brain had no idea what was going on, and then I told her Eric and Chani were also here and she was SO excited! Good surprise for the mama!

 

Saturday we woke up and did some swimmin and lounging around the house.

 

 

The people that live behind my parents have a Russian Cucumber plant.. or at least I think thats what it was called. These things were HUUUGE and the vine was coming over our fence along with these James and the Giant Peach sized cucumbers. We cracked one open and it smelled just like a cucumber. (Imagine that) Pretty nuts!

 

All in all a super excellent weekend with my family.

 

Here's the ugly:

 

 

 

This. Is. What. I. Came. Home. To.

 

Okay, to be fair, we all have our days when the apt gets out of hand, but LITERALLY every surface was covered in stuff and there was trash EVERYWHERE. I could not take it anymore.

 

I had a baby-mini-very-small HUGE freak out and left the apartment and headed to my safe haven.. Target.

 

After speaking to my mom, Kelli, and my sister Carlie, it occurred to me I had to take action.

 

One of my roommates met me back at the crime scene and helped me clean everything back up to a livable climate. She cleaned up most of the kitchen while I cleaned the rest, but she left the breakfast buffet to be cleaned by its rightful owner.

 

The trash that had accumulated in the living room by the other person who inhabits this apartment I carefully shoved back into the box all the crap came in and set everything on her bed.

 

Notice I said SET?

 

Keep that word in mind.

 

 

So we cleaned up, and headed out for a drink and as soon as we walked in, we saw the dirty little hamster at the bar, and within 3 minutes she left.

 

She was obviously upset about something..

 

but not as upset as she was going to beeee...

 

 

So I get a series of texts:

 

Her- Hey did you clean today? Looks great.

Me- Yeah, Moosh and I did. Thank you.

Her- Oh okay so it was both of you?

Me- Yep just kinda freaked out and got it done. It was funky.

Her- Cool well I helped out too. Appreciate it.

 

 

So I get home, walk into the kitchen and everything looks exactly the same... walk into the living room and everything that I had put in her room was THROWN ALL OVER THE LIVING ROOM again.

 

Walk into my bedroom and theres like 14 pieces of mail? and other random things chunked into my room, look into my other roommates room and her room has been peppered with trash too.

 

When I say that I came unglued... its an understatement.

 

There were some words exchanged, loudly. There were tears that did not come from these beautiful blue eyes. There was a lot of anger.

 

Moosh came home this morning and walked into her room to find that her room had been poluted with trash that was in the trashcan, stuff from the refrigerator, and mail.

 

She screamed at the top of her lungs and punched the offenders door. It sounded like someone was being murdered.

 

I sat this one out in my room.

 

Its been a good day.

 

2/3rds of us are speaking, and the other third is MIA.

 

 

HOLY UNCLE SAM AND JESUS ABOVE, SOMEONE SAVE ME.

 

.... I just walked out to see this:

 

 

God is good.

 

 

Big exhale.

 

Phew. This is a perfect transition.  I just want to share two more videos, they are both covers of songs, sung by one of my best friends, Ross, and the other by his little brother Lewis.

 

I wish I could open my mouth and have beautiful sounds come out, but at this point all that comes out is yelling rage.

 

Anyway, these will brighten your day.

 

First one is a cover of Someone Like You by Adele. Sung by my favorite little divo- Ross.

 

 

And this is his little brother, Lewis.

 

 

Love those boys.

 

See, it was good, stung a little, and now it's good again.

 

 

Happy Birthday, Mama. I love you!

 

 

And coming up sooner than I think she'd like

 

 

Somebody else has a birthday coming up reaaaalllll soon! :)

 

 

XOXOXOXOXO.

 

Trust no man with a rat tail.

It has been brought to my attention that this is "my type" of guy:

Juicehead gorilla douchebag.

Big and stupid.

But so strong.. (ish)

Some downfalls of liking a swollja-

1. The amount of time the two of you will spend in the mirror looking at his muscles.

2. The amount of time you two will spend looking at a new vein that appeared.

3. The amount of time that you, alone will spend feeding the ego of these muscle retards.

Its exhausting.

And kind of stupid.

And I dont think I will ever understand why a bulging vein is a good thing...?

You look like the Hulk.

But you know, we have all been guilty of wearing rose colored glasses and when you're caught up in a relationship, you try to talk yourself into accepting things that normally wouldn't fly.

Eh, he doesn't know how to spell... its okay, that just means ILL always be the smart one. Maybe hes good at math.

He is losing his hair at 20... no.. thats fine... I like bald.. bald is good.

He doesn't have a job... of the tax paying/non felony kind....

Okay, thats... okay... he can just.. uh.. make his own hours?

The first time he told me he loved me was right after I ripped a loud fart on accident..

(Okay, yeah, I didnt catch on to that until way after the fact. That shoulda been a red flag to our love. HA!)

Anyway--

Sometimes, I even surprise myself. Recently I started dating a guy that I have known for a while. Completely not my type, we're kind of the same size..

No big muscles other than mine in this story.

But I thought, It'll be fine.. really.. hes a nice guy and maybe "my type" isn't  good time considering I am single and spend way too much time buying my own drinks at a bar.

OKAY so, I gave it a go.

I mean a real go!

I even got the mind trickery down.

Its fine that he was a theatre major. Its a little gay. But maybe he had a good purpose for it.

Its TOTALLY fine that he drives a car that looks like this:

(Not kidding. His rear is covered in stickers.)

Even though he has a freakin' cat, I really like this guy.. Who cares if I can't ever breathe or see when I am at his house? I can deal with this.

But let me tell you at what point I knew I should just throw in the towel.

I met up with said theatre master after he had gotten off work and much to my surprise

He had pulled his curly nappy hair into a ponytail and the first word that came to my mind was

RAT TAIL.

So then I started to question what the ef I was doing in this mess.

And shortly after things went straight to Hell.

We went on a float on which he told me

1. He has feelings for my roommate.

2. He thinks my blogs are stupid.

3. I am insecure around asian women because I kissed him in front of one.

And several other really sweet things.

So then it hit me?

WHAT IN  GODS SWEET NAME are you doing with a man who spends his money on bumper stickers, cat food, and hair ties?

So, I ended it, obvi. No man of mine is going to challenge me for most beautiful hair.

And I hate cats.

And I have a cool car, and yours looks like a unstable stay at home soccer mom's.

And you're tiny.

And last but not least....

WHAT IS STUPID ABOUT MY BLOG NOW?

Silly boys, don't they know I will always win?

Things that matter.

Hola, mis amigas! How has everyone been? I am sorry for the seven month delay, but.. quite frankly I have had a very uneventful summer.


But praise Jesus in the sky above... I am back in classes.

Sadly- no FRJ this year. Actually, I am not sad at all. My classes seem pretty normal.


Except one of my teachers is a moron. :) Sweet, but really not intelligent.


He reminds me of Simon Birch.

Cute, right?

Well, for an 8:00am class, I need ol' Simon to get it together. He took 30 minutes trying to turn on the projector.

And then started an icebreaker. (HOW MANY TIMES DO WE NEED TO BREAK THE ICE IN THESE CLASSES?!) We had to "interview" someone at our table and then introduce them to the class..

Let me remind you that most of us have already had at least one class together, because were all education majors.

On the board he wrote the questions for the interview:

1. Name
2. Favorite food

3. Have you ever traveled out of the country?

4. What do you like to do for fun?

5.What is your major?

....

....

Whats our major?

Everyone started looking around at eachother like.. uuhh.. eduucaation.. sir?

It was awkard.

Anyway, the class is a waste of time. I think it will be an easy A but for real, brothaman. Get it together.

So, to keep up with the icebreaker theme of my classes, I decided a good icebreaker blog would be good for all of us to get comfortable again.

Lets talk about things.

Things I like:

1. Birthdays!

Dis little baby chicken nugget will be turning 5 on September 15! I can't believe he is getting so big. He told my mom the other day that he was going to be turning 12 on his next birthday.

Smallest 12 year old ever, but man you sure are cute.

So that really ties in two things. I like babies, ahem.. "kids" and my sweet little cookie face, Anthony.

This Snookalicious sister is turning 25!

And this little gumdrop will be celebrating her 31st birthday!

And these two balls of fire have September birthdays.

I love birthdays. Its no January birthday celebration, but its still a party.

2. Dry Shampoo

This is the bees knees! Good bye, Bacon Head! You have been an unpleasant slight stuck to my forehead for far too long. See ya sucker!

3. Malibu pineapple.

Just a delicious drink. Tastes like a beachy vacation in your mouth. Minus the sandy feeling in your teeth, and no one has to deal with crabs of any kind. And just like the beach/ocean.. if you get it in your eyes it will hurt!

Hoodathunk.

4. Justin Bieber.

If you don't have Bieber fever you are silly. He is precious. Hes got swoopy side bangs. And he's just cuter than pie. I suggest everyone see Never Say Never. If you aren't totally in love with The Biebs after that movie, than you must not have a heart. Or love cute things. Or love Jesus and the angels.

5. Daddy and Laura are coming in town!

(Totally unrelated picture.)

And they are coming with Cynthia and Mike! Should be a fun weekend, if Cynthia doesnt kill me and hide my body.

6. These new babies.

Thanks Jessica Simpson. They're presh!

7. The Help

Don't tell my dad that i'm reading books. But this one is so good.

8. Other blogs I follow that you should too.

-Barefoot Foodie, Hyperbole and  a half, Cocos cuckoo world, The Spohrs are Multiplying.

On the flip side.. Things I could live without.

1. Amber from Teen Mom.

Big wad of absolute crazy. And loosen up on the ponytail. Your face has got to hurt.

2. Cicadas.

I HATE THESE BUGS.

I kid you not one of these man eaters was GROWLING at me at C's house. It scared me so bad I got all sweaty and flustered.

I opened the door to put a key under the mat and heard something like

"skkkaaakkkjhhaaagtgggeorrraaaalllll" and slammed the door. I told her that something was growling at me and when I went to inspect it again I opened the door to find a Ford Focus sized cicada waiting at the door step to eat my face off.

Screw those things.

3. Shower curtains.

My damn shower curtain falls down about once a week and it is the BIGGEST hassle to put it back up. I dont know what kind of stupid I am that I can't figure out how to put it up without the walls giving way for it to come crashing down on me.

Forget it.

Ill just shower without one.

Seriously.