Living as a fungus.

I am pleased to share with all of you why I have been deathly ill more than I have been healthy this semester.

The answer came to me one day as I was raking crumbs together in the kitchen for a snack before I starved to death.

ARE. YOU. EFFING. KIDDING. ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


I am sorry if any of you threw up just now, trust me, I thought about it many times.

My sweet, loving, normal, hibernating roommate made dinner one night and forgot it was on the stove...


for about a week, apparently.

If you're sick to your stomach, you are normal. If not, you're probably my roommate.



In other news, I have an amazing ability to misjudge people being asleep, or being gone because I have exposed my naked self to too many people in the recent months. It's getting out of hand.

At 4:30 in the morning I woke up with a stomach ache so I bolted out of my room to get something to drink only wearing my under-roos and I didn't see anyone and the living room was dark but 5 steps into my living room I heard a mans voice.

My eyes hadn't even focused on the world.

Was this Jesus talking?


Was there a TV on that I wasn't aware of?



And then by God's great glory it dawned on me that one of the apartment dwellers had drug home some lovely bar man and they could see me from the balcony.


Why they were sitting in the dark, I don't know.

I dont want to know.


But I ran back into my room like I stole something and just decided to tell my stomach ache to "suck it" and tried to go back to bed.


Sure, I should probably wear clothes upon exiting my room, but you would think people would be sleeping and not creeping on the balcony like a bunch of bats in the dark.

Weirdos.